The one who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been before ~ Albert Einstein
You know the most horrible thing you can ask an introvert to do? Go out and talk to people. So, one fine day when my boss told me to go for an event all by myself, I was mortified. I said all my hellos, made some small talks, exchanged cards and all that was left was to grab a quick bite and emergency exit. I just sat at the corner table and placed an order for a coffee when someone came by to say hello and insisted that I had cake. Now this was my first time and I really didn’t know how to mingle, I still don’t know by the way, but I was called in to join a group at the other table. I was hoping to leave after my coffee but now I was to gobble my cake and socialize. Somehow, I took their leave after a few minutes but boy I was a mess! On the other hand, this would be a total dream for an extrovert. But if you ask any social animal to do something alone, chances are they will think you are crazy.
I don’t like to sit around for plans to get finalized but believe me, it wasn’t always like this. I have waited for people to say yes just so that I can go to that restaurant I always wanted to try or on a holiday or just to grab some coffee. Until I realized, I don’t have to. I went on my first solo trip after trying to convince a friend for months to come along and it wasn’t as time consuming to plan it alone than to try getting someone to say yes. I love movies more than anything and I usually go during the weekdays, a couple days after the release because you get better seats (I make sure there is one seat for my snacks) and it’s less crowded whereas if I have to go along with a friend it is usually over the weekend and we might not get our favourite seats and they would be expensive. I am okay with that too unless I get to watch the film. I have missed a lot of films in the past where in someone didn’t want to watch that particular film, or the timings didn’t match or someone kept cancelling and I totally hate that. Now there are always people who will go “What?! Who goes for movies alone?” or “Dude why?! That is just so sad” or “But why? I will come with you. Tell me next time” and I am like “Guys I really love it, so don’t worry” *rolling eyes and shooking my head*. I once went on a movie date and I was late by 10 minutes but the movie had not started yet. My date was so miserable for those 10 minutes that he told me, “But I don’t like being alone” on his fifth call to me.
Every time I tell people about me doing something alone, the response has been far from normal. I still go ahead and do stuff that I want to do regardless of anybody’s opinion. I have traveled alone, I usually go and grab a bite alone, I go for movies alone and believe you me the experience has always been liberating and powerful. I can work around my timeline and adjust it accordingly. I don’t have to think twice. I meet people I wouldn’t normally get a chance to meet or interact with. I have shared tables with strangers. More than anything, it’s a much needed me time for me and being alone at a table gives me chance to observe my surrounding which has conceived a lot of ideas. I have written so many of poems during my cab rides and at Starbucks.
Somebody once slyly told me, “Oh you can do it alone but not me. I need people” but hello, we all need people, we are social beings but people won’t be there every single time when you want to do something. Let us not limit our experiences because of somebody’s absence in our lives. I like to be with a bunch of like-minded people and I love myself a party and social gathering from time to time, I love to sit at a huge table to eat with everyone but I don’t need people to do everything I wish to do. I have observed that people are so scared to be alone that they are willing to be with a bunch of people they don’t like just for the sake of company and why? Well, “I don’t want to be reclusive”, “I can’t be alone”, “I need to be around people”. “Oh, I can’t help it, I have to be with them” and add your own set now. I wish people respected their selves more than they respect their public image or how they come across to a certain set of people. Life is out of our comfort zones. Yes, it is not easy but it is much more peaceful and rewarding. Let’s not put the burden of our happiness on our relationships. I love my friends and family but I love me too and maybe more. I am not advocating a solitary lifestyle but I am advocating the idea of you going to that play that nobody wants to accompany you for. Go for that play and catch up with your friends/boyfriend/girlfriend/family/spouse after that. But do your thing.
I can give you a million more examples from my own book of Do-It-Alone which I hide in my purse but I want everyone to have their own book full of experiences that will one day surprise them. Create your own unique experiences and share it with the world because we need to learn to be alone and be happy at the same time.
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